Get Your Spouse To Workout With You

Get Your Spouse To Workout With You

When you're yearning to get fit, once and for all, working out and eating better can be frustrating and exhausting, especially when you're going at it alone. If you're surrounded by loved ones who have entirely different goals than you, you can find yourself feeling isolated.

From exercising to making healthy nutritional choices, when everyone around you is doing the complete opposite, it can easily derail you from your goals. Going at it alone is a daunting task and wishing your spouse would join, is understandable.

I often caution clients not to become dependent upon others to help and keep them motivated. It is vital that you focus solely on your fitness plan and your own goals. Not everyone that joins you at the starting line will be there with you for the long haul. You can't allow them to pull you off course. You need to be understanding of their circumstances but unapologetic for keeping true to your goals.

However, it is nice when you have support and someone who will help you on your fitness journey. Having someone on the same game plan as you, will encourage you to try different workouts, recipes and help keep you motivated to the next level, and who better to be by your side then your spouse?

TIPTOE

When approaching your spouse about joining your fitness journey, don't be pushy. They may, at first, think you're implying that you see imperfections in their body. Be sure to make it about their health, not their image. Gentle encouragement can go a lot further than poking fun at their flaws.

If you've been exercising for a while, point out all of the benefits you've felt since starting. Be upbeat about your experience with a workout regimen. If you speak negatively about hitting the gym or skipping the pizza, they will not be so eager to follow you on this new path.

If they reject the idea at first, let it go for a while. If you continually nag them, they will only reject the idea more. Plant the idea in their head and leave it alone. Let them think about it for a few days. They may reconsider, but if you keep coming at them, they'll only put up a wall. No one likes being pushed into doing something, especially with working out. There has to be a level of motivation on their behalf. They will need their own desire to push through a workout.  

START SMALL

If they give you just a tiny slither of hope that they'll join you for a workout, please, by all means, don't take them to the gym and have them do exercises that you've been doing for a while. This will backfire and leave them feeling like a failure, and they will never try it again.

As a gym owner, I've seen this so many times, especially with men. I cringe knowing what the result will be; a disappointed husband and a sore, upset wife feeling like she's not tough enough to join a gym and workout.

He brings her in, excited she finally caved and agreed to start working out with him. This is where I want to grab her and show her a great starter workout that she will get hooked on, but I'm sure not to overstep my boundaries. Instead, I watch him sit her on the weight bench and hand her dumbbells that are way out of her league, especially for her first time. He counts for her and tells her to do two more reps because he thinks she can. She's sweating; her arms feel like they're going to fall off and she wants nothing more than to go home and say forget it.

Long story short, we will never see her at the gym again. The husband will come back in and complain that he doesn't understand why she won't do it again. Gee, I wonder why? Probably because she can't even lift her arms to comb her hair or getting up from a chair requires assistance.

Take it easy on them. Let them feel their way around fitness. Allow them to grow into a workout and leave feeling accomplished, not beaten. We all have a starting point. I know you're eager to show them how well you're doing with your fitness regimen, but give them a chance to like theirs.

Start with a small workout that allows them to see that they're more than capable of doing an exercise and you increase your chances that they'll stick with it for the long haul. You may even want to consider having them work out with a trainer or by themselves for a little while until they get into a rhythm. Once you see they've established a new love for fitness, join them. Start creating workouts the two of you can do together. It will take time, but it will be well worth the wait for you.

CHANGE THINGS UP

Getting your spouse to work out with you may mean you need to do your workouts differently. They may not like the style of fitness you're currently doing. If you want them to exercise alongside you, keep an open mind to the million different ways you can work out.

I am by no means a runner. Actually, I despise running. I love to lift weights. I do cardio, but only small spirts to keep my body fat down. I have no desire to run a marathon or spend my time on a treadmill. My happy place is surrounded by dumbbells and weight equipment. So if you asked me to work out with you and all you wanted to do is meet at the gym to run on a treadmill, I'd tap out, quickly. Fitness classes bore me to tears, so I wouldn't last at that either.

You have to allow them to find ways to exercise that fits their needs. If they enjoy the treadmill and you like the gym floor, leave them alone. They're there with you. That's half the battle. They may decide later on to give weights a try, but you go on with your workout or join them on the treadmill every once and awhile. All you want is for them to desire to get fit with you, no matter which road they decide to take.

LEAVE THEIR FOOD ALONE

If you want your spouse to work out with you, start with just the workout. Nutrition, being the most significant part of becoming healthy, can also be the most challenging part. When approaching your loved one about choosing a healthier lifestyle with you, it seems only right to have them change their diet as well. I'm here to tell you, proceed with caution.

When I began my fitness journey, I started only with getting myself into the routine of working out. I'll be forever grateful that I took this route because if I'd tried to change both my fitness and nutrition, I would've failed miserably.

When I begin with a client, I always advise them to keep their nutrition the same and only worry about getting into a routine with their workouts, whether it be to hit the gym three times a week or to get a walk in daily. They usually look at me confused thinking that I was going to show up at their homes and toss everything out that they love to eat. Nope! I know from years of experience that if you leave the nutrition part alone and conquer the workout part, cleaning up their diet will naturally fall into place.

Now, some may decide that enough is enough and go cold turkey on the junk food and workout every day right out of the gate. That's great, but it's not for everyone. If you're already having to talk your spouse into exercising, I would suspect they aren't jumping for joy that you want them to make some life changes. So don't push your luck with asking for it all, right now.

Let them settle into exercising, and you will see, without fail, they start choosing to clean up their diets, if only a little bit at a time. They need to do it on their terms, or they will quit on you. They will soon find that after working out, they shouldn't blow all of their efforts with a lousy diet. Let them travel on this part of the journey by themselves, unless they ask you for guidance.

MIX THINGS UP

If you head to the gym every evening and you wish they'd join you, mix up your routine that may be more suitable for them to join in. Instead of the gym, let's say two nights a week, invite them to go for a walk.  Allowing them into your schedule will get them moving and perhaps inspired to do more healthy things with you.

On the weekends, add fun outdoor activities that the entire family can go. Walks, swimming, skiing, hiking or kayaking, whatever you like and will get everyone moving. This will not only get them moving, but it will build up their endurance and let them see the health benefits of exercising without having to stand on a gym floor.

Doing this with your spouse may inspire them to add more and more fitness to their life, without you nagging or pushing them to exercise. Keep trying different things and see what sparks their interest the most. Before you know it, they may be asking you to exercise with them!

ENCOURAGEMENT

Your spouse may feel insecure about exercising with you because they think they're totally out of shape. The thought of struggling through a workout embarrasses them tremendously. Be sure to point out that you struggle or how out of shape you were when you began. Gently encourage them to start small and that they're free of judgment.

Don't lay out a big plan for them when discussing exercising. Only ask them to try a small workout to see if they like it. Give them the out they may need if they decide that they don't want to continue. If they think you'll get mad at them if they can't stick with it, they'll never sign up to do this with you.

When they do decide to exercise with you, tell them they are doing great. Don't point out everything they're doing wrong. Remember, we all have starting points, and no one is perfect at anything in the beginning. Be the positive person you want for yourself. A little encouragement goes a long way.

I hope this helps you to approach your spouse about exercising with you. Helping anyone get fit is one of the most incredible gifts you can give. Be proud of yourself for wanting the best for your spouse, but know they have to want it for themselves. If they do decide to join you, be patient and kind. Take small steps together and have fun setting different goals for yourselves. Change things up and always make them feel welcome to join you. Celebrate the small victories together, and you will see your relationship blossom in a whole new way, just by getting fit! That's a double win.

If you'd like some fun, simple ways to keep you on track and inspired, please sign up below to be on the inside loop of tricks and tools to fast track you, and hopefully your spouse, to all of your goals. I offer both male and female workout plans that will give you both a well laid out plan to reach all of your goals, that both of you can do while encouraging each other. Feel free to contact me with any questions on which program would fit both you and your spouse.  I'd love to be a guiding light on your path to greatness.

Hugs and Love,

Aimee

Aimee Schwinabart is the founder of The Purely Fit—online workouts, nutrition, and fitness coaching that actually work! She specializes in short (super effective) daily workouts combined with customized nutrition plans to help real people shed excess fat and reveal toned, lean muscles. The Purely Fit approach to looking and feeling great prioritizes small, steady, super efficient workouts and nutrition upgrades to help you stay with it once and for all!